• Around The World
  • Science of Love
  • Well-being
  • Relationships
  • Heart-warming
Locksmith Of Hearts Divorce Doesn’t Necessarily Mean Failure, Here’s Why Therapists Call It a Success
0Shares
0 0 0 0 0
Locksmith Of Hearts
  • Around The World
  • Science of Love
  • Well-being
  • Relationships
  • Heart-warming
Relationships

Divorce Doesn’t Necessarily Mean Failure, Here’s Why Therapists Call It a Success

Gerald Miller Dec 17, 2019
0Shares
0 0 0 0 0

According to Hal Runkel, an Atlanta based marriage therapist, marriage has developed into an interesting population-growing machine.

It is this belief that makes him accept whatever outcome that follows after a couple completes a circuit of sessions with him.

Should the partners decide to go their separate ways, the therapist does not register this as a failure either on his side or for the couple choosing divorce.

Runkel says divorce is not a failure

Designed for Growth

Marriage, as he says, is designed to help people grow up by challenging their blind spots.

Explaining it further, Runkel says that being married will expose your selfish side if you’ve got one, before exposing any immaturity that may be covered behind the scenes.

In doing this and so much more, the therapist opines that marriage will always stimulate you to grow. And there has never been anything wrong with understanding yourself better, has there?

The therapist uses this line of thinking to explain why some marriages end in divorce.

As he puts it, one or at times both partners may grow and change drastically. With the change comes the unfortunate realization that their union isn’t leading them to the life they both want, and as such, choose to part ways.

Runkel says that for most couples finding themselves in such a situation, making the mature decision to get a divorce is actually the best outcome for them. Why then, would he label divorce a failure?

Granted though, this may be a difficult thing to grasp. You may ask – what’s the point of officiating your union if you anticipate to grow to levels that won’t accommodate your spouse?

However, a Business Insider reporter, upon engaging a number of marriage therapists, writes that in resisting growth to avoid growing distant, partners unknowingly make their marriage, and by extension their lives, ever so difficult.

In resisting growth, partners make their marriage harder

In being afraid of venturing into the unknown for the fear of divorce, a couple may end up creating the very monster they dread.

New York-based psychologist Laura Markham says that every disagreement in marriage is a chance for either partner to grow. She goes on to say that although people don’t tie the knot to ensure growth, marriage could just be the best laboratory for character growth.

Not a Cactus Bed

According to Vermont-based marriage therapist Rachel Zamore, couples who understand that change in their relationship is inevitable tend to have the best experiences in marriage. They may not call it a bed of roses, but the one thing that they’re certain of is that it is not a bed of cactus either.

Partners who understand that change is inevitable have happier marriages

A quick search through the internet will reveal that there’s actually a huge number of people who don’t view divorce as a failure.

Mary Hawkins, a member of the CafeMom online community, says that deciding to leave a marriage that has long been unfulfilling is akin to resigning from a dead-end position at work.

As she puts it, you’re in the perfect state of mind if you recognize that you’re not in the best position and take steps towards making real change.

Ella Davis, a ScaryMommy user, confirms the claim that fear of the unknown is detrimental to a marriage. She writes that her relationship did not fail on the day that she filed for divorce, but rather in all the efforts she put in to avoid having a divorce in the first place.

Share This
0Shares
0 0 0 0 0
Previous Article
How to Walk Away and End a Toxic Relationship?
Next Article
Good News Singletons! Research Says You Might be Better Off Alone Than in an Average Relationship
Comments (0)

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.

Related News

Relationships
How Not To Let That ‘Gray Divorce’ Wreck Your Dreams Of Retirement
laura Mar 22, 2021
Relationships
New Study Shows Student Loan Is One of the Leading Causes of Divorce
Umang Gupta Mar 10, 2021
Relationships
Your Attachment Style Has This Impact on Your Relationships at Work
Penelope Summers Feb 14, 2021
Relationships
The Reality of Romance: Tell-Tale Signs That You Are in a Codependent Relationship
Gerald Miller Jan 22, 2021
Locksmith Of Hearts
  • Privacy Policy
  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Home
  • Terms Of Use

Copyright LocksmithOfHearts. All RIGHTS RESERVED.

  • Lost Password Back ⟶
  • Login
  • Register
Lost Password?
Registration is disabled.