It’s normal for two people in a relationship to lean on each other, especially when times get rough. But when does it become detrimental?
A dysfunctional dynamic arises when the relationship has become one-sided in terms of necessities. In codependency, one party is heavily reliant on the partner, who disproportionately sacrifices a lot of personal needs and wants for the satisfaction of the significant other.
Do you feel you have become codependent or are stuck in this sticky situation? Here are ways to tell.
Prioritizing Your Partner’s Happiness
Giving parties who are in a codependent state immediately feel burned out and that’s because they always choose to prioritize their partner’s happiness. This blind devotion can drain the life out of one person and worse, it can affect their mental health.
Constantly striving hard to appease or please the other person means setting aside the things that make you happy. This will not just affect you but it can also be a breeding ground for a toxic relationship.
Losing Sense of Identity
A common misconception is that when one enters a relationship, they become united with the other person. However, it is crucial to have a sense of identity, hence the importance of space and differentiation.
A healthy connection allows people involved to be their own individual while remaining emotionally linked with the other. If you end up letting go of yourself, your interests, desires, and wants, you are in a codependent relationship.
Giving More Than What You Receive
While it is true that you shouldn’t ask for anything in return when you enter a relationship, a lasting one has an unwritten rule that both parties should both give and receive. If you’re prioritizing your partner’s happiness or want to secure their attachment first, then you are likely giving up everything for your significant other.
You may want to make them feel secure or less anxious but along the way, you are foregoing your needs in the relationship.
Bearing Your Partner’s Problems
It does take two to tango but in a relationship, it’s never right to bear your partner’s problems. Although it may not be your special someone’s intention, your helpful nature may be what’s at work here.
This oftentimes results in guilt and resentment if you can’t solve your partner’s problems. It is even more frustrating if you have no idea on how to offload your lover’s burdens.
Manipulating during Fights
Fights are an inevitable part of any relationship. However, how couples resolve and how fast they can do it are what really matters.
If your partner doesn’t fight fair and resorts to manipulation or gaslighting to end the conflict, you are likely in a codependent relationship.